How to treat men…

For the ladies, before thinking of how to treat men well, first & foremost, you must treat yourselves well.

  1. You must be born again, a God fearing Christian woman: “There is nothing good that you can do when you are not in the Lord – and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” Isiah 64:6.
  2. When relating to a man, you must be pure & honourable & have pure thoughts – “Whatever is true,whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8.


There are three basic areas a man wants a woman to take care of when they’re dating:

  1. Recreational companionship.
  2. Physical attractiveness.
  3. Admiration.

1) Recreational companionship.

The man has activities he enjoys e.g. sports, hobbies etc.

Though the woman may not like the same things, she should have an interest in what the man likes.

If she doesn’t show interest in him, he feels rejected & something inside of him begins to get discouraged & to die.

There are also some impulses/survival instincts that a man has that make him have particular interests that the woman should try to accommodate.

For example, the guy is glued to the newspaper or TV watching what? You got it! Politics, News & Finance…

This is because his instincts are honed to protect & secure the future of the family & these things can affect it.

Learn to compromise on recreational activities. While it might not be possible (or sane) to do everything together, you can agree on which activities to do together.

2) Physical attractiveness.

Men expect you to:

– Look good, both in public & private.

– Be physically fit.

– Watch your diet.

– Keep your hair clean.

– Keep your makeup, clothes, shoes beautiful, nice & pretty.

– Smell good.

Different men have different tastes so find out what he likes & try to live up to that.

Men are visual creatures & therefore physical attractiveness is VERY important to them & they get repulsed by bad looks.

3) Admiration.

You should understand & appreciate him more than anyone else does… (In a nutshell, be his biggest fan)

You should really truly admire him… (He can tell the difference between honest admiration & empty flattery)

You should be genuinely attracted to him & not be repulsed by him in anyway.

You should tell him good things about him & dwell on his strong points & positive achievements… (This helps him to maintain his self- esteem & confidence)

Express your admiration for him. Pay him compliments. Buy him gifts. Do nice things for him…

Respecting his decisions…

Don’t nag him or bother him with repeating the same thing over & over… (He heard you the first time)

If you have to ask him something the second time, do so with love & humbleness.

Handling conflicts…

Don’t tear him down, tell him whatever needs to be said in love.

Give him time to change. It’s God who’ll work on him, not your nagging.

Avoid repulsive & coarse language when talking to him. (Or anyone else for that matter)

Be polite, humble & kind to him.

Don’t embarrass him infront of people.

There are things that you can discuss in public & there are things that you can only discuss in private.

How far is too far…

Turn down his sexual advances before marriage.

He will respect you if he doesn’t marry you.

Say no for God’s glory & for your own respect.

Dealing with other men…

Avoid trying to make him feel jealous. Don’t try to show him how popular you are with the other men.

Make him know he’s special to you.

Let him know that he’s more special to you than all other men.

Blasts from the past…

Tell him about your past. Let it come from you rather than from a third party.

This builds trust & openness. Tell him things before marriage which you know have the potential of affecting your marriage.

Trust that he loves you enough to accept you & your past, however, first build a relationship of trust & openness before you drop weighty issues on him.

Revealing your past:

– Sets you free.

– Gives him power to choose to be with you or leave you.

– Gives you the opportunity to know if he truly loves you.

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